Word to the Absurd: Scholarly Edition

First off, Column Day. This week I tackle the tough transitions: getting your kids stop doing their thing and start doing what you’re asking them to do. It’s always tricky, especially if you’re trying to put them to bed.

On a completely unrelated note, I’m overdue for another edition of Word to the Absurd. As always, these are actual things that we have said to each other.  (Though this time we have a special guest: X’s new friend Neighbour Boy, who is kind of awesome.)

Our theme this week is knowledge. Behold our collective wisdom on colours, geology, family relations, and my wife’s surprising deftness with a Star Wars analogy.

Xander: I declare that primary colours don’t exist.

Oscar: Can somebody turn Xander off? He’s being annoying.

Neighbour Boy: (watching my kids fight): I know. When you have too many kids, somethings things just get out of control.

Oscar: Today is Earth Day. Did you know our whole country is moving, a little bit at a time? Some day we might even bump into Japan!

Xander (holding the vacuum): It’s time to conquer the dust bunnies of destruction!

Xander: Orange isn’t a good colour for camouflage. Green and brown are the best camouflage colours.
Me: Well, it depends on your environment. White would be best if you were in snow.
Shawna: See guys, that’s why the Rebels wore white on the planet Hoth so the AT-AT walkers couldn’t see them, but they dressed in green and brown on the moon of Endor.
Me: Wow. You win.


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