A Holiday Smorgasbord

Happy holidays to all. This week has been a blur of fun times and visits, searching for batteries and eating too much food. We’re also reorganizing our house right now, because why spend the holidays relaxing? So in the spirit of holiday feasting, here’s a smorgasbord of Christmas happenings in the Lucas household.

  • The challenging thing about having four kids who receive four sets of Christmas presents is that it means more stuff in your house. We seemed to attract a lot of things with small pieces this year. The General got a “design and drill” set that comes with 100 screws (I think it’s literally 100, but at the very least it feels that way). The Whirlwind received a Playmobil pool that included an insane amount of foliage, plus every figure came with a pair of tiny plastic flip-flops. We are forever picking things up off the floor.
  •  The General’s favourite Christmas present: the new Winnie the Pooh movie. He’s in a Pooh phase, and we have watched this movie just about every day since he opened it on “First Christmas” last Saturday. It’s quite sweet and a good film, but I have a song about “the Backson” running on a constant loop in my head.
  • We had a white Christmas for the first time in ages, and I’ve never been so happy to see snow in my life. The older boys spent hours outside sledding and building forts, which helped them burn off some of their insane Christmas energy. I never thought I’d say this, but I was actually sad to see the snow disappear in a rainstorm today.
  • The Whirlwind has long been fascinated by the idea of God’s omniscience—the notion that he can be everywhere at once. We have discussions about this on a regular basis. But during the Christmas Eve service, our pastor was listing off all the places people can encounter Jesus. When he paused, the Whirlwind blurted out loud enough for half the church to hear, “Even in the toilet!”
    The room erupted in laughter. Shawna gave him the obligatory lecture about how you shouldn’t yell out potty jokes in church, but we were both kind of impressed that he was actually listening to the sermon. And I was cracking up too hard to be of much help.
  • The other night we did one of those experiments that failed spectacularly and yet still ended up being awesome. The boys got glowsticks in their stockings, and Shawna had heard that if you bust some open and pour the liquid in a jar with water, it makes a cool neon lamp.Well, our sticks contained a mix of liquid and gel, and getting them open turned out to be a messy business. When we turned out the lights, our jar gave off a weak hue but the rest of the kitchen was a fluorescent explosion. We realized we’d accidentally splattered glow juice everywhere. Our hands were glowing, the scissors were glowing, my shirt was glowing… there were constellations on the kitchen floor. I wouldn’t recommend coating your house in busted glowstick guts, but the effect was incredibly cool. Sigur Ros happened to pop up in our iPod mix during this experiment, which made it feel even more epic.
  •  I took the three boys out to McDonald’s this morning for breakfast. For most of our stay, we were the only customers in the place under the age of 60.  As I was wiping a combination of jam, maple syrup and ketchup off the General’s face and hands, I decided that I’m looking forward to the stage in life where I can spend my mornings shooting the bull with other geezers over chain-restaurant coffee.  I think I’ll have earned that day when it comes.
  •  I also took the oldest two to the Maritime Museum today, plus I single-handedly disassembled, moved and reassembled a set of bunk beds, with minor assistance from the Mastermind and minimal damage to the house (save for one hardly noticeable dent in the hallway ceiling).  If you’re keeping track, that’s +12 Awesome Dad Points for me.
  • Finally, I got my wife exactly what she wanted for Christmas: an 18-volt cordless drill with a 100-piece accessory kit. No, I’m not joking, and yes, I know I’m a very lucky man.
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