More Word to the Absurd

As always, these are actual things that people in our house have said to each other:

Oscar (to Xander): I pretty much love you a thousand percent. But don’t tell anyone, it’s a secret.

Xander: Did you see those moves?
Me: Maybe you should be in taekwondo or something.
Xander: I don’t need any training. I’m like an expert ninja already.

Oscar: That fart smelled so bad it was haunted!

Xander: Daddy, you just need to make a plan and stick to it. Actually, let me make the plan.

Oscar: When I’m a grown-up I’m going to spend all my money on toys and candy.
Me: I wish I could spend all my money on toys and candy. But we also need to eat.
Oscar: Let’s just eat candy!

Oscar: I can’t do what you want me to do because my brain is too tired.

 

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4 responses to “More Word to the Absurd

  1. My boys said that the “haunted fart” was the best one. I’m sure that phrase will be well used in our house – thanks for the laughs!

  2. Classic. Your boys are hilarious.
    “I pretty much love you a thousand percent”; I like that.

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