Therefore be it resolved…

Happy New Year everyone! Many people spend the first few hours of January thinking about all the things they’d like to change or improve in their lives, and I’ve decided to go all-out this year. If you’re going to dream, why not dream big? So I’ve come up with some highly ambitious, wildly fantastic and probably impossible New Year’s Resolutions for the Lucas family in 2011. Here they are:

1. Become home nudists. As I was putting away three full baskets of laundry this morning and carrying a fourth upstairs to wash, it occurred to me that our lives would be simpler if we wore fewer clothes. Maybe we shouldn’t get dressed at all unless we have to leave the house. I’m sure the boys would buy into this; they’d gladly spend every day in their pajamas and/or birthday suits if they could. The only hitch is we live in Canada, which makes it impractical (and uncomfortable) to walk around in the buff for large portions of the year. Which leads to my next resolution:

These two would gladly wear these exact outfits every day.

2. Invent a spray-on snowsuit. Technically we’re less than two weeks into winter, and I’m already muttering unholy words under my breath every time I try to cram Oscar’s feet into his boots and zip up his ski pants while he lies sprawled on the floor like a beached jellyfish. Multiply that by four and I’m ready for a nap before we make it out the front door. I would enjoy winter way more if I could simply spray my kids with some sort of non-toxic, environmentally friendly foam before I sent them out into the snow.

3. Discover a magical new food that everyone likes. Right now the oldest boys only eat three main courses on a regular basis: pizza, pasta, and pancakes. They’ll both eat some fruit, vegetables and nuts as well so I’m not worried about their overall diet, but cooking for them is so monotonous. Every now and then I suck up the courage to force them to try something different, which is usually met with tears and screaming. It’s my dream to hear my oldest son say someday, “Wow, Daddy, this sweet chili salmon is amazing! Can I have some more?”

4. Synchronize the family’s internal clocks. I don’t know if it’s the holidays or what, but everyone’s sleep schedule has been haywire lately. Someone’s awake by 5:30 almost every morning. Gideon’s sleep habits are different every day depending on the tides, the phases of the moon, and the exchange rate of the loonie. Some days he has two naps. Some days he has one. Some days he just throws everything out of his crib, including his pants. All we want is for everyone to nap at the same time, fall asleep at 7 p.m. every night and not wake up until at least 6:30 in the morning. Is that too much to ask?

5. Rid our lives of diapers forever. The Gidders will be just over two this time next year, so it’s doubtful he’ll be potty-trained yet… but I’ve reached a point where I am actively daydreaming about an era when I don’t have to change two diapers before breakfast. (This morning it was three.) At some point within the next 18 months or so, all four of my children will be able to go to the bathroom with minimal assistance. Once Gideon has been strutting around in underwear for a reasonable amount of time and I’m certain that I’ve fastened my last Huggie, there will be a party in the Lucas household. With champagne, and possibly fireworks.

In all seriousness, I wish all the best to you and your family in 2011. One of the things I would like to do this year is make my blog more interactive, so you tell me: what are your dreams (impossible or not) for your family this year?


One response to “Therefore be it resolved…

  1. People seem to prefer commenting on your facebook links instead of on your blog:) Maybe they’re shy.

    My New Year Resolutions are significantly less interesting than yours. I wish you luck!

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